After-Effects
by laurapreponfan
Summary: Sequel to We'll Always Have Paris. One-shot.


Like they promised to each other right before they parted ways in Paris, Taylor and Laura went back to the States acting as if _nothing_ has happened between them. Taylor went back first, much to their relief, because God knows how they going back together would've made a difference, followed by Laura after the unplanned wedding of a friend she attended.

They went three days without communication. It was the first time in months that they haven't talked in how long and for a while, they thought the promise was broken and they had totally fucked up the friendship they had tried to build so hard, _again._ What both did not know was that they were both just waiting for each other to say something first, to give a clue on what to say, on _how_ they were supposed to act now.

Taylor sent the first message.

 _"Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch tomorrow?"_

 _"Yeah, sure! Just text me where and what time and I'll meet you there."_

It was a brief conversation, both aware that they were trying too hard to pretend like they were just _normal_ friends who didn't happen to have shared a more than intimate thing just a few days ago. But they both made a promise to each other and they've already learned from the mistake they both committed a little more than a year back, so they were also in agreement that this wasn't going to last, that this awkward phase they were going through would somehow slowly die down as time passed by.

It wasn't easy and they both knew that. But they also knew that they were both too important to each other to let anything come between them again, so if trying too hard was what was gonna make them get past this, then trying too hard it was.

-o-o-o-

 _Taylor and Laura just finished their last scene for the day. It was the bar scene that surprisingly went smoothly, as if they'd been practicing it for days. It was almost two in the morning and Laura was supposed to drive Taylor home but decided to invite the blonde over a cup of coffee at her place._

 _They were slouched on her couch, their heads resting at the back of the couch, their shoulders brushing against each others, with both their eyes closed._

 _"Great scenes today, huh?" Laura then opened her eyes and tilted her head towards Taylor who still had her eyes closed before the blonde opened them and looked back at her._

 _Her lips tugging into a smile, Taylor nodded her head enthusiastically. "Yeah! God, I missed having you around."_

 _"Me, too, girl," Laura answered, returning the blonde's grin._

 _"When are you gonna be back?"_

 _"I'll be on the next episode and finale, I think. So you still get to have me the next few weeks."_

 _"Good!"_

 _Taylor's grin slowly subsided, as she stared at Laura, who had by now returned to her original position, her head against the back of the couch, her face skyward and her eyes closed. She just kept staring at her, and it was as if she was looking at her face for the first time. Ever since their bar scene, something had been nagging Taylor and she didn't know what but looking at Laura right now, seeing her in a different light, whatever the hell that meant, she knew._

 _Laura might have felt Taylor looking at her that she opened her eyes and looked at the woman beside her, catching her fixated stare at her. "What? Do I have something on my face?"_

 _"No. I'm just..." Taylor debated with herself, unsure whether it was worth it whatever she was planning on doing. "Ugh, never mind," she then decided, shaking her head pretty profusely._

 _"What is it? Come on, you gotta tell me now."_

 _Taylor sighed, knowing full well she was fooling herself thinking she could stop herself. "I just..." she began, her voice almost a whisper,"...I think I wanna do something."_

 _"What?" Laura asked, confusion apparent on her face._

 _"Okay, but I'm gonna need you to not be mad."_

 _"Okaaay..."_

 _Then without removing her eyes from Laura's, Taylor slowly leaned into the latter until they were only inches apart. Then she suddenly lowered her gaze at Laura's lips, waiting for her to back away from the close proximity, but surprisingly, and much to Taylor's relief, she stayed still, her breathing suddenly becoming heavy._

 _And so taking that as her cue, Taylor moved even closer, until she was pressing her lips against Laura's. It was gentle and soft, their lips almost not moving, but it was everything Taylor imagined it to be. They've kissed numerous times but this one was different. No one was telling them what to do, no one was watching, no one was calculating their every move. It was just the two of them, and it made the difference in the world._

 _The kiss ended almost as it started, and when Taylor pulled away, she looked into Laura's eyes, gauging for her reaction, waiting for her to freak out. But she remained still, and the freaking out never came._

 _Then seemingly recovering from the surprise kiss, Laura quirked an eyebrow, a small smirk forming on her lips. "What was that for?"_

 _"Sorry," whispered Taylor, sheepishly smiling. But she was actually not even in the slightest bit sorry. "But, I've been wanting to do that ever since they yelled 'Cut!' during out last scene."_

 _Laura nodded slightly, biting her cheek. "You wanna know something?" Laura asked, her voice surprisingly an octave lower._

 _"What?"_

 _"Me, too."_

 _And with that, she cupped Taylor's face and pulled her closer, kissing her like she's never kissed her before._

-o-o-o-

Laura and Taylor had lunch the next day and it felt like it took all their energy to divert every conversation into meaningless talk about things that didn't matter much. They talked about their friends, about the current issues around them, they talked almost about anything... _except about themselves_.

For a while, it worked. They fell back to the easy routine that they were both used to and it seemed as if the things that happened in Berlin and Paris were already forgotten. But even though they tried hard to ignore it, something had changed. And it wasn't like the change they experienced the first time but this was way deeper, way more complicated, and way, way more dangerous than they would ever admit to themselves.

-o-o-o-

 _Taylor and Laura were lying on the latter's bed, blanket strewn all over them, having been left with no clothes on. They were barely talking, both their attentions fixated on their own phones. Laura then noticed Taylor shake her head as she dropped her phone on her bedside table._

 _"What?"_

 _"Some people on social media are crazy! Have you seen this?" She then showed the raven-haired some of her mentions on Twitter making Laura laugh out loud._

 _"Surely, you should have been used to that by now?" Laura said, as she got up and started putting her clothes on._

 _"Where are you going?" asked Taylor, ignoring Laura's comment._

 _"I wanna eat."_

 _"What, you haven't had enough?"_

 _Laura's chuckle resonated inside her room. "Shut up. Come on, get up," she added, totally taking the blanket off Taylor._

 _"What? Why do I need to get up?"_

 _"Because, Princess, you're gonna help me cook."_

 _"Really? You know how terrible I am in the kitchen."_

 _Laura raised one eyebrow, as she nodded, silently agreeing to the blonde. "Oh right," she said, chuckling. "Just keep me entertained then."_

 _"Oooooh," Taylor said excitedly, finally getting up. "That, I like!"_

 _They were finally in Laura's kitchen and the taller woman had started preparing everything she needed for the garden salad she decided she wanted to eat. Taylor, on the other hand, wanted to amuse herself by cutting the cucumber into tiny squares and throwing them one by one at Laura._

 _"Are you seriously gonna keep doing that? I told you to entertain me, and that is not entertaining."_

 _"Yeah?" asked Taylor, who threw another piece of tiny squared cucumber at Laura, hitting her on her nose. Taylor laughed earning her a glare from the raven-haired. "Sorry, sorry. I'm stopping now."_

 _Laura just shook her head, finally grinning at Taylor's childishness._

 _True enough, the blonde stopped messing around as she started walking towards Laura, a mischievous grin on her lips._

 _"What?"_

 _"You told me to entertain you," she said, as she stood behind Laura, her hands gripping Laura's shoulders, until she slid her arms downwards, snaking them around the other woman's waist. With her chin hooked at Laura's shoulder, she pressed a soft kiss just under Laura's ear. "So, I'll entertain you," she whispered into Laura's ear, as her right hand slowly made her way inside Laura's shirt, lightly tracing her stomach with her fingers._

 _"Hmm," Laura leaned into Taylor's, her lips tugged up into a smile, "Yeah, I'd like that."_

-o-o-o-

After a few days off they got from the European promo, they were back to work again when the day for OrangeCon arrived. They weren't acknowledging it, but their text messages to each other were becoming less and less, and any interaction seemed forced. The natural _chemistry_ they've always had seemed to have faded into something bleak and they tried to fight it off but the force that was keeping them apart was too strong.

Laura wasn't sure if Taylor intended it to be, but she came much later than planned, giving her a reasonable excuse not to interact with her for the first half of the event. But if she was being honest, she was a little relieved because if they forced to pose for photos for everyone who was currently in the same room as them, everyone would have noticed the difference in them. And the last thing Laura wanted was for anything personal to affect their work, something they've worked so hard on for three years now.

But then it had to come, being face to face with each other, having to pretend that nothing was wrong, not only in front of all of these people but also for themselves. They weren't ready to acknowledge the fact that if this relationship they had was crumbling into pieces, there was no one to blame but them, not the media, not their relationships with other people, not anyone outside the two of them. And without ever having to admit it to themselves, that would suck way, way more.

-o-o-o-

 _Laura woke up to a heavy something draped all over her stomach. She slowly opened her eyes, adjusting her vision to her surroundings when her gaze fell to the blonde that was almost on top of her. Taylor was on her side, with her face crooked on Laura's neck, her arm was wrapped lazily around the raven-haired's waist, and her right leg tangled with Laura's legs. The sight brought a smile to Laura's lips and soon enough, she found herself staring at Taylor's face, taking in how she looked in her peaceful slumber._

 _There were hair all over the blonde's face and Laura had to gently tuck them behind her ear so as not to wake her up. And then ever so slowly, she started running light circles on the blonde's jaw with her thumb, liking the way her skin felt against her own._

 _She thought back to the first day they met, and how terrified she was of having to work with someone she knew was her exact opposite. Taylor and she almost never shared anything in common, but surprisingly, they clicked. And not just in work but also outside of it. And now, they were here and Laura wasn't prepared with the realization that suddenly hit her._

 _When this all started, she and Taylor made a pact that it was going to be just purely physical. They found each other hot, who didn't, really, so why not, right? They both knew this was going to be just a temporary thing anyway._

 _But lately, she'd been noticing how much she's spending much time with Taylor and not doing the things they were supposed to be doing. Sometimes, they would just talk and it would become the highlight of her day. They both didn't ask any questions, they just kept going. Because what difference would 'just talking' make anyway?_

 _Turned out, it made a whole lot of fucking difference because the way she was looking at Taylor right now, it wasn't the same way she looked at her months ago. She didn't just find her hot, anymore. She found her beautiful. And the sex never satisfied her as much as getting to know the blonde more anymore._

 _And it scared her. Because it wasn't supposed to turn out this way._

-o-o-o-

Taylor tried. She really did. But every time she would look at Laura or talk to her, she was just reminded of Paris and everything they would have had if things were a little more different and it just fucked things up every damn time. At times, she found herself wishing for things that she knew would never happen, for things that would just turn out bad. And she would have been okay with it if only there weren't any other people affected.

But there were and she couldn't afford to live with herself if she kept continuing this. So as much as she hated doing it, she tried avoiding Laura in the subtlest way possible. She made her promise before that nothing was going to change but here she was, stepping into that promise and crushing it like it was destined to ruin her life.

For a while, it worked because Laura seemed to not notice anything. But deep inside, Taylor felt hollow, because she knew something was missing. And no matter what she did to try and avoid or ignore it, it always came slapping her right on the face and she knew it was only a matter of time before she lost her mind over it.

And she dreaded for that day to come.

-o-o-o-

 _"Hey, I've been calling you. But you weren't answering. Is everything okay?"_

 _Taylor had been trying to reach Laura for a while now but she couldn't. It didn't help that there were really no reason for them to see each other officially in the next few days so she decided to just drop by her house, hoping she'd catch her there. Fortunately, she did._

 _"Yeah, everything's fine. Sorry, I didn't have my phone with me. Come in."_

 _Taylor noticed that Laura looked a little paler than usual. "Are you sick?" She went closer and was about to put the back of her hand on her forehead to check her temperature but Laura backed away so quickly you'd think Taylor was the one contagious. Taylor creased her brow in confusion._

 _"I-I'm fine. Is there... I mean, can I help you with anything?"_

 _Taylor opened her mouth to speak but she was still taken aback by Laura's gesture that she shut it immediately. She waited for Laura to say something instead, but she remained quiet, avoiding to look at her. "What's going on?"_

 _"Nothing."_

 _"Bullshit. You've been avoiding me."_

 _"What?" Laura tried to chuckle but it turned out to be hollow. "I'm not avoiding you."_

 _"Right." Taylor had to look away, anywhere but Laura because she couldn't take the fact that Laura couldn't even look her in the eye right now and she was confused because she didn't remember doing anything wrong. She could see Laura struggling to say something and she had to hold her breathe when Laura started speaking._

 _"I swear, nothing is wrong. I do need to talk to you, though." She paused, waiting for Taylor to say something, to no avail. "Do you wanna sit or something?"_

 _"No, I'm fine. What is it?" she asked, as nonchalant as possible. Taylor could see breathe deeply and right then, she had the slightest idea on what this was going to be about._

 _"I think... I think we should stop this." Silence. "It's just that... it'll be hard when someone catches us, you know?"_

 _"Yeah, coz people just walk in our bedrooms without our permission," Taylor couldn't help saying. She knew what this was about. She felt the shift in her relationship with Laura and she sensed that it made Laura uncomfortable but she never really thought that she was going to push her away because of it._

 _"That's not what I meant."_

 _"Yeah? What do you mean, then? The sex not good enough for you anymore?" Of all the emotions consuming her right then, it was anger than she chose to show because it was the easiest one she could accept she was feeling._

 _"No."_

 _"Yes, Laura. The sex is not good enough anymore because you're starting to feel so much more." She waited for Laura to deny it, and was surprised when she didn't. "Tell me that's not true and I'll leave you alone."_

 _"It's not... that's not."_

 _"Tell me."_

 _Laura breathed deeply. "That's not true. I don't... I don't feel anything else, especially not something more. I just... I just think that... that we should stop this now before we get caught or something."_

 _Taylor felt as if Laura just stabbed her right in the chest and twisted it when she spoke looking right into her eyes. She waited for her to take it all back, gave her a chance to say that she was just scared because this was new to her. But Laura just kept looking at her, as if waiting for her to say something so she could finally be done with this conversation._

 _So Taylor just nodded, feeling the sting in her eyes. "You're right. I'll... I'll just see you whenever then."_

 _"Y-yeah."_

 _Taylor gave her one last look and for a second she thought Laura wanted to say something else, but maybe it was just her own delusion so before she could do something she'd regret, she slowly turned her back at Laura._

 _And it was the last time they spoke to each other in what would turn out to be the longest months of their lives._

-o-o-o-

"I have to go."

"You're trying to ignore me."

"What? No, I'm not."

"Oh, come on, Taylor. I'm not stupid. You made me promise... to not let whatever the hell happened change things with us. But you're breaking that promise right now."

"Do you think this is easy for me?!"

"No! I know it's hard, I feel it, too. And I'm sorry. Because I was the one who started whatever this is again. But you know what? When you hesitated, I was ready to back out, Taylor. But you said 'One fucking night,' and now, that night is over! What the hell do you want us to do now? Just tell me, coz if this is stressing you out, I can just walk the fuck away."

"Yeah, walking away is really one of your strongest suits, right?" Taylor laughed humourlessly as she shook her head. "That's your answer to everything. 'Oh, things are getting serious, let's just stop this.' 'Oh right, I forgot you have a girlfriend, let me just leave.' 'Things are starting to get awkward again, let me just walk away.' I am _so_ glad it's so easy for you to do that."

"You think walking away from you was _easy_... _is_ easy? You think I never had to _drag_ my damn feet away from you just so I don't go running back to you again? Do you fucking think it's easy for me to back away because you're with _someone_ else?! And to know that I was the one who pushed you away from me in the first place? If yes, then fuck you, Taylor. Coz turns out you really don't know me at all."

Laura started to turn her back on Taylor, wanting to get away from there as soon as she could. She didn't care that this was her _walking away_ again. She just really had to leave.

But she was glued to her spot when she heard Taylor say something she thought she'd never say.

"I loved you, you know," she said, sounding so defeated, as if she's lost all energy to fight the truth she's been trying to avoid for God knows how long now. "I loved you, but you... but you walked away. And now, I'm with her... and she loves me. And I'm supposed to be _finally_ happy. But I can't. Because you know what I remember every time I look at her? I remember you _giving up_ on me. I remember you choosing the easy way _out_. _I remember you._ And it all just feels so fucking wrong, because this makes me such a horrible, horrible person."

At that point, Laura wanted to run to Taylor, to wrap her in her arms and just say that everything was fine, that she wasn't a horrible person. But she couldn't move. It was like all of those words made her still, because she realized that this was all her fault. "Taylor..."

"Don't," Taylor said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry that I'm breaking the promise. Believe me, I tried. But I can't do this. I can't, I'm sorry."

And with that, Taylor turned her back on her. And she got to walk away this time around.

-o-o-o-

Laura was having a break from shooting when Taylor apprehensively approached her. "Hey..."

"Hey," she said back, a little weary since this was the first time they were seeing each other right after that _confrontation_ they had days ago.

"Uhm, can I come over your place after this? I just really need to talk to you."

Laura thought for a moment. She wanted Taylor to come over, _badly_ , but she knew it wasn't a good idea. These days, they kept going back and forth with how they wanted things to be between them and she was pretty certain taking a little time off from each other was going to help even just in the slightest bit. But she looked at Taylor and instantly, she couldn't say no to her.

"Yeah, sure. Did you bring your car?"

"Uhh, no," Taylor said, a little smile on her face.

"All right. Let's just go home together then."

They went by their day trying to ignore each other but Laura sensed something different in Taylor. She seemed _happy_. And she should really be happy for her, too. But somehow there was a little ache in her chest knowing she wasn't the reason for that happiness, and at some point she even _took_ that away from her.

It was an early pack up and it wasn't even nine in the evening when Laura was already driving home, Taylor on the passenger's seat, uncharacteristically quiet. Usually during car rides, they would always talk about their day, or joke around, or talk about anything they could think of. But right now, none of them felt as if _talking_ was a good idea.

They reached her place a little while later and she felt her heart beat faster unsure what Taylor wanted to talk about.

"Sooo?" They were both seated at her couch, a little farther apart from each other than they usually were.

"I, uhm, I just wanna apologize for... for the last time we—"

"It's okay, Tay. You don't have to apologize," she offered a bleak smile and Taylor smiled back and Laura felt the warmth in her chest seeing Taylor smile that way again. "You... wanted to talk about something?"

"Yeah," she nodded, and Laura wasn't sure but her smile went even wider. She could notice Taylor try so hard to fight off the smile, obviously unsuccessfully, and she wondered what it was that was making her this happy. "Can I ask you something?" Taylor asked, shifting her body slightly so she could face Laura.

"Yeah, shoot," answered Laura, copying Taylor's movement so they were now face to face, both their arms on the back of the couch.

"Do you think... if, if things were a little different, we would have been together by now?"

Laura squinted her eyes, unsure what Taylor meant. "What do you mean?"

"You know, if I wasn't with someone... do you think there's a chance for us?"

Laura swallowed, the first thing that registered in her mind was the fact that Taylor was _indeed_ with someone else, before fully realizing what she was asking her. "Huh," she huffed, finally allowing herself to imagine what _could have been._ And she almost smiled when she remembered that time in Paris when Taylor told her that she would be " _a great girlfriend"_ because she agreed. She would be amazing. "Yeah. I think there is. I mean, you're not bad," she added, earning a shove from the blonde causing her to chuckle. God, it felt good to laugh around her again.

"Really?"

"Yes, Tay. Really. I think, I would stop being such a coward and... maybe, I don't know, ask you out or something," Laura shrugged, trying to make it sound like it wasn't such a big deal, like this was just Taylor trying to make a conversation with her.

Taylor chuckled. "You will?"

"Yeah. And maybe, you know, flaunt you around like a trophy girlfriend," she raised both her eyebrows twice at her and smiled, a genuine smile she'd been missing these past few weeks. _"And maybe,"_ she looked down at both their hands on the back of the couch which were now so close together, _"...hold your hand like this,"_ she then enveloped Taylor's hand with her own, playing with the skin that her thumb could reach, _"...and look you in the eye,"_ which she also did, _"...and tell you how much you mean to me,"_ she added, her voice slowly turning into a whisper, _"...and how much I wouldn't want to lose you... ever... again."_ She then realized what she was doing and abruptly dropped her hand, knowing this was reality and there was _someone else_ that was doing that for Taylor. "So yeah. I'd do that. _If you weren't with someone else._ "

Taylor was still looking at her, a soft smile still plastered on her lips, until she bit the bottom of her lip and shook her head. "I... uhm... I broke up with her."

Laura, who was looking down at the floor that time, quickly snapped her head towards Taylor's direction. "What?"

Taylor nodded. "Yeah. I just... she's amazing, she really is. But I can't... I can't keep doing this anymore, it's unfair to her. So, yeah, I ended it."

"When?" Laura asked, still not believing her own ears.

"Does it really still matter?" she asked, her lips slowly tugging up into a smile again.

For a few seconds, Laura did not know what to say. But then, her mind started functioning properly again and she realized, Taylor was _single_ now. She wasn't with anybody else, and she was here, a few minutes ago asking her _those_ questions, and right now smiling at her with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen. "No, it doesn't," she finally said, finally allowing herself to smile, too.

"I believe you were saying something earlier?" Taylor raised her eyebrow at Laura knowingly and with the smile that Laura answered her with, she knew.

"I was?" Laura said, fighting off her smile.

"Yeah."

"Well, you know."

"I don't."

"Are you really going to make me say it?"

"Do you _really_ still need me to make you say it?"

"Ugh, you're unbelievable!" Laura complained looking up at the ceiling, resulting into a loud laughter from Taylor. She then shook her head and looked at Taylor. "Hey..."

"Yeah?" Taylor said with a smirk that screamed _'I won.'_

"Would you like to... maybe... I don't know, have dinner with me some time?"

Taylor's smile widened so much Laura swore she could almost see all her teeth. "Hmm, I don't know. I'm gonna have to check my schedule."

"Oh, fuck you," Laura said, her smile contradicting the words she said.

Taylor laughed wholeheartedly but then looked Laura in the eye before saying, "I love you, too, Prepon."

Laura then shook her head. "Come here." She then cupped her face and pulled her closer until their lips were pressed against each other, dancing into a harmony they've been trying to avoid for years now.

 _Fucking finally._

-o-o-o-

 **A/N:**

So, I felt bad for the way I ended We'll Always Have Paris and decided to do this. But truth is, I just really need to feed my delusion that is Laylor. Haha. I know they're just friends but to hell with it. Also, this might be the last Laylor fic I'm ever going to write Coz I still have Shattered and I want to focus on that now. I'm sorry I still haven't updated that fic but I'm really finding it hard to write Chapter 7, so to anyone reading it I apologize. I'll post the update as soon as I can.

Thank you to everyone who had left reviews on WAHP, and I'm so sorry for breaking your hearts but I hope this somehow makes up for it. I was a little aware of the reaction on Twitter and I kind of felt bad because I suck. Haha. So here it goes, and hope to hear from you again.

As usual, sorry for any mistakes. And I don't own Taylor and Laura. I wish I did, though. =)


End file.
